A chronicle of the ups, downs, and in-betweens of my thirty-something life. Seeing life through many different eyes...parenthood, step-parenthood, marriage, approaching middle-age (argh...can't this one wait), all while attempting to find my significance in this world.

Saturday, February 19, 2011

Life Goes On

It has been about 7 months since my mom's passing. Life has gotten easier, although I still have moments of disbelief at times. Since there is no guidebook that tells me what comes next in this whole grief thing, it's pretty much up to me to make sense of it all. When a parent dies, people seem to be faced with the concept of their own mortality. Everyone dies, this we know. Although it is healthy to move on, it is amazing how life just sort of falls back in place, compensating for the life that has been lost. Holes left in people's heart are filled with other people or things and sometimes activities. This is the healthy way, as claimed by all the grief professionals, but somehow it seems a little sad. The hearts heal from the wounds of lost, but huge scars are left behind to mark the place.

My dad started dating a woman a little over a month ago and it has gone from casual to almost living together at warp speed. I know that feeling a little uncomfortable with the prospect of my father dating a new woman is expected. I do feel uncomfortable but it is getting a little easier. I have imagined if I were to die, what would I want for my husband? I am sure I wouldn't want him to go through life miserable and lonely. So I accept that people need companionship. Isn't that why we are all built to need each other? As the days turn into months, and the months turn into years since my mother's passing, life seems to go back into their places and as I watch, I am both amazed and perplexed at the same time. But all life's mysteries are both amazing and perplexing so I will adapt and continue on but learning about myself along the way in hopes I can pass some of my understanding along to my children in a way that they will be one step ahead of me at this point in their lives.