A chronicle of the ups, downs, and in-betweens of my thirty-something life. Seeing life through many different eyes...parenthood, step-parenthood, marriage, approaching middle-age (argh...can't this one wait), all while attempting to find my significance in this world.

Friday, March 12, 2010

Friday Follow!

I am participating in Follow Friday Blog Hop hosted by Rita @ One 2 Try, Tami @ Hearts Make Families and Lynn @ Midday Escapades. I found many new bloggy sites and friends last week, so I am excited to do it again this week. If you are interested in taking party follow go here and link up your site. Please let me know your blog address so I can properly introduce myself and I follow you back. Thanks and Happy Follow Friday!!!

MckLinky Blog Hop

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Growing Pains

Our 13 year old daughter has become a teenager in the last 2 months at an all too alarming rate or shall I say warp speed. It seems like she went from adoring her stuffed animals to shopping at Hot Topic and fully immersing herself into the desparaging world of dark and sometimes rage-filled bands and their music in a matter of days. Music is a great outlet for emotions but there is an unwritten rule somewhere that states "parents must abhor the music their kids listen to". I was certain that I had an open mind and that I was still in fact, young. (So unlike my parents) Well ladies and gentleman, reality is here and I have been shocked to learn that I am now a full fledged adult. In other words, I have turned into my parents. Argh.... This means I am not longer welcome in the young cool kids club anymore. I can't relate to the music my daughter listens to and try as I might, I don't like it. I can't understand it. The dark demon-like screams actually kind of scare me. I have crossed the threshold from young to old in less than 2 months and let me tell you, it sucks. 

We have become the parents that we couldn't understand (or just couldn't understand us). We won't let our daughter dye her hair (unlike her friends as you can see above) and wear eyeliner (except on special nights like school dances or holidays). She is in 7th grade and I think if we start this too early there will more extremes that will be asked for. She has already expressed an interest in piercing her lip. Wow! That was a shocker because she was too scared to get her ears pierced.

A few days ago, our new teen asked to go to a concert in LA (45 minutes away) on a school night and the concert started at 8pm. I actually considered it for a millisecond. I looked up the venue and saw they had a full bar so immediately, a memory from my own drunken concert past flashed up, (AGHHHHHH), I was not ready to expose our daughter to this type of environment. It just helped my case that this concert was on a school night and late at night. Our answer was No. (Refer to reaction we are used to getting in above picture-pouty face is all too familiar) I was surprised to learn that 2 of her friends, both the same age, were allowed to go. One of their parents decided to take them. My daughter was, of course devastated. It turns out that they didn't get back home until midnight which is really late on a school night. I feel like I am in unfamiliar territory with the ("strict", my daughter claims) rules. I believe in promoting an environment that allows my kids to explore and express their emotions, talents and interests but I'm not willing to forgo boundaries and my own common sense in order to get there. Unfortunately, I think this is only the beginning and we will have many more battles before her teenage years are behind her.

Saturday, March 6, 2010

Monkey See....Monkey Do

It is amazing how many times I have overlooked the impression I am making on my children. I am not saying I throw around adult language like it was candy, but the small every day habits and unconsious displays that I would not want my children to embrace as their own are coming to my attention more and more these days. Although it is impossible to guard against all negative impressions that our children pick up I have been irrefutably slapped in the face with a few of my impressionable habits coming out in my kids. My husband was handling double duty on his laptop and cell phone this morning when in walks our 5 year old daughter inconspicuously mimicking the scene my husband was in at that very moment. I had to capture this to remind me to try to live as I want my children to. I know my parents always told me to "Do as I say and not as I do" but I just can't wrap my mind around the negligence of this statement. Although they thought this was the "right" way to raise a child and they were good parents in their own right, I just can't live in that world. The road of accountability is a much harder road and the outcome or ROI is not yet determined but I am determined to live by the demands I place on my kids (yes in my theoretic, perfect world I must add because I am sure that I can make up a million excuses why things are ok for me but not my kids)